What is the trend of needing to conform about these days? This is particularly true of women, especially mothers, having to act and have similar views to other women just to have any friends. There’s a weird expectation, which I don’t think I’m imagining, that a woman is only worthy if she aligns with the status quo of the politically correct.
What happened to individual personality, aspirations, views and opinions? Is it so radical to see things differently to your next-door neighbour and yet still get on as friends? What happened to being interesting, exciting, adventurous, and inspiring? What happened to being a mother, a woman, an employee, a volunteer and yet still being yourself, being unique, and living as you choose to live?
I believe in freedom of speech and want interesting friends. I want people around me that I can debate and ideate with, people that our open about who they are and what they stand for. I want to be able to be annoyed if things go wrong or are unjust, without someone accusing me of being aggressive. This accusation seems exclusively directed at women even when justifiably annoyed; apparently men as a rule can get angry and be completely justified whatever the cause! I’m not aggressive but I do sometimes get angry, usually with good reason. Last time I complained without swearing a security guard was summoned to protect the recipient. I didn’t stand up, raise my fists, swear, or even lean over the desk. I simply wanted her understanding of my plight and for her to justify her attitude and related actions to my case. Not difficult or unreasonable… Instead I was simply rejected and left stunned at her reaction. I was trained that when a customer complains, first you listen, then you summarise the situation, then offer a solution with a can-do attitude. So many companies have taken the opposite view. Generally complaints are blocked or there is no obvious route to complain, shutting their ears to the problems with their service, expecting clients to turn away without a resolution. Then ironically send many a survey asking how they did!
Women seem to be afraid to show real emotion these days. We’re appear to be expected to put up and shut up and are only assigned one acceptable personality type; passive and conciliatory. What happened to feminist advocacy and the desire to improve the world for our children and future generations? What happened to the suffragette mentality or the wartime determination to compete with and challenge the male dominated machine? Where is our willingness to be different, and not necessarily popular?
Time has gone backwards over the last 20 years in terms of feminism and women’s liberation. What happened? I’ve never been popular and I don’t really care about popularity. I hardly ever voice the socially acceptable view, not because I want to create dissent but because often I see things differently to others. I don’t sacrifice my true views for the sake of fitting in, though obviously I do sometimes agree with the accepted and socially accepted view. I rarely dilute who I am to be liked, so as a result the friends I do have like me, and my attitude, and I am exactly myself most of the time.
Thankfully I still do have friends despite who I am and who they are, or perhaps because of it. I want us to be the voice of social change, to be angry about lives being lost unnecessarily, or people being hurt unjustly. I want our society and the infrastructure around the way we live to work effectively and for people to be rewarded for actually solving and achieving something, not just rewarded for showing up at work and being popular.
Please let women contribute with their real ideas, air their real passions, and vocalise the problems our gender faces which is sometimes different from men. Let us lead as we want to lead in the style which suits each individual. Let us speak our against injustice, and be angry because there are many things in our society to be angry about. Anger creates momentum, momentum mobilises people to develop proper solutions, proper solutions will lead to a better, fairer world.
Fingers crossed, our voice is heard in the next General Election and onwards.
All the best whatever your opinion, lifestyle, and work choices. I hope you enjoy the time you have on the planet and make a lasting impression whatever that is.
Kind regards, Ruth
Well Thought Through 